Where dwell the brave at heart

My blogger recently reminded me that my last post was back in 2011. Although its intent was probably to get me going at another write up, all it did was make me feel old. 

Back when I thought I was a blogging pro, there wasn't really much to play with online. Over the last couple of years, I have felt quite out of sync with the online world and I often feel overwhelmed with the amount of content thrown at me. Probably for this very reason, I have withdrawn into the offline. So forgive me if my writing is a bit rusty. 

I recently had a son. We call him Krit. Although the internet wants it to mean handsome, it is Sanskrit for 'to create'. I was drawn to the name for two reasons.
It is crisp. Just the way I like things. And, it isn't an adjective. I do not want to burden my kid with living up to our expectations of him being sweet or kind or loving or successful. So, now that I have introduced my son to you, let us get to the real deal. 

When you make a baby, your centre of gravity shifts from your body into your arms.  This imbalance takes time getting used to. And as days pass, you wonder. You wonder what he would be like when he is older. If he would be happy. If he would drive safe. If he would smoke. If he would marry a mean person. If he would become a mean person. A billion things run through your mind until you learn to filter the fear out. Not wholly, but substantially. 

And as you filter out things you have no control over, you start thinking about how you would want to raise your son. What values are non-negotiable. While I wrote into my journal last night, I realised I kept coming back to one thing. I wanted him to be brave. I do not mean being a complete nutcase and doing the fast-and-the-furious bit. I mean being okay with failing. Being okay with not being perfect. Being okay with owning up your shortcomings. 

Why did I come down so hard on wanting him to be brave you might ask? Same reason why all parents teach their kids what they teach. These are our own life lessons that we want to pass on. Our own shortcomings that we recognised as we grew up. Things we figured out that kept us from being truly happy. Because, ultimately that is what we want our kids to be. Happy. 

So as Krit completes six beautiful months on this planet, of all the things he learns from the world, his Hufflepuff mother promises to raise a Griffindor!