Inertia

Tantrums, heart breaks and uncertainty. Life licenses only six stupid years to yell, be unreasonable, misbehave, make mistakes and still be okay.. and as I move closer to the 1st of October, I find this right been snatched away from me right under my nose and there's nothing that I can do about it! As if God only wanted to make it clearer to me, that my period of 'no more a child- not an adult either!' ends this year, for the first time ever, I won't be celebrating my birthday at 12 am. Why? Exams! That's right! Instead of attending phone calls, dressing up, loving all the attention, all I'll get to do this year is face a bunch of microscopes, instruments, fluids and attempt to answer a bunch of teachers in pathology viva! Wow! Fancy haan? Just about every person's ideal birthday! So that's how I slowly, unwillingly yet inescapably edge my way toward my twentieth birthday. Those of you who've been through this might know what this feels like...

A blue pen, a red bag, a gold momento .. all would hint toward my dad's return from another one of those 'conferences' .. Never really got what the fuss about all these meetings was.. So a bunch of docs come together, talk a lot, eat, everyone gets a token to remember the meeting and you come back home? That's what I figured what conferences were till 24 th of last month. 20 th June 2009.. a group of twelve  MB BS students from our college left for Mangalore . So finally I was going to get to see what a conference actually was. The organisers picked us up, accommodated us in their great hostels, and after a day of pre-conference workshops (which sucked by the way), the main event began. I was there for an oral presentation on a research project that I was doing this year. The rest of my team also had such presentations . Students from many countries were here. India, China, Russia, Romania, Iran(!).. It was exciting to see so many students were int...

They say you have to have it in you to be a doctor. Before we go on with deciding whether or not we have it in us, lets study the game.. The flowers, the rainbows and all things nice: The fact that you are going to be a DOCTOR! Just imagine! How cool is that going to be! Plus, in M.B.B.S.,we have our exams every six months. Thats it! Any part completion tests? No! Any surprize class tests? No! Any unexpected change of schedule and an oddly timed exam? Again.. No! Life here is pre-planned, predictable. Its like a video game! Just go on passing through the levels. One after the other and you will come out a winner. Maybe not in one shot. but The Medical Council of India is in no hurry either! Take all the time you want. You dont feel like it in 2009? No problem sir! Lets give 2010 a shot! You think 2011'll be a lucky year? Fine! Or maybe you might want to graduate with your son in say.. 2030? Sure! Maybe it'll turn out to be a good thing after all. I mean we all have...

I am a true libran. Indecisive, attempting to balance opinions and seeing both sides of the story. And so, I am never sure of which way to go. I wish life was simple. I wish I could be spontaneous.  I go through life one episode at a time. I can never plan ahead.  I cannot hurt people and live with it. I am not comfortable talking about how I really feel about stuff either, my diary is helpful there. I have always had trouble with the word 'no'. I find it difficult saying it to people. And when I do, I don't really pull it off well. Things don't remain as pretty thereon. I love pets and food! And I find there is no bigger a turn-on than a doc in scrubs or a surgeon at work!  Why Inertia? If there is one constant aspect in my life, it would have to be this principle of fundamental physics. The tendency to resist any change. I love being set. In my cocoon, any attempt to disturb the equilibrium is frowned upon. That's me!