Saturday, November 28, 2009

The Traffic Theory

More than half the people around me have no idea what they are going to do with their lives as doctors. They are doing and will do what others are doing, what seniors have done. I justify it by what i like to call "the traffic theory".. it is just a psychology that comforts you and helps you stay calm in times of introspection.. what it says is that since everyone who took the road I am planning to had a swift bump-less ride.. so will I!
Its been two and a half years since i have been associated with this profession..
When in the first year, I found studying dull.. back then maybe it was the subjects...
In the second, things didn't improve as much as I would have hoped.. this time it wasn't the subjects.. of that I am sure..
and thats when I realized that doing anything that everybody else is.. or anything that is not out of ordinary made me lose interest.. and unfortunately most of what one does in life is just that.

So then you might think, alright.. maybe she'll like the 'dealing with the patients' part as it comes along.. talking to them, treating them... Umm.. Here comes the scary part.. I don't think I like that either! Then what the hell am I doing in medical school?? I honestly have no idea!
Saw a movie today.. Patch Adams.. a good one.. it was this movie that stirred up the two year old silently purring uncertainty about me going in for this field.. I have always sucked at connecting with people... so if a doctor is supposed to be what's been portrayed in the movie... I am in deep shit!
so i guess now my life seems like a big mess up haan?? something, that might make many freak out and fret over all the time? But you won't find me doing any of that.. u know why?
The traffic theory!